Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if only i could text you this smell
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
