Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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