Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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