Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
