He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
