I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
