Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
