i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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