ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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