If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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