my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
