KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
