Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
