he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
