Dual....:-)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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