Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
