Christians are straight up FREAKS
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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