I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just saw a hot homeless man
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
