she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
