So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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