I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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