shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
