Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
