Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this just has baby written all over it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
