no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
