i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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