she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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