you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
