Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
