i already hear my dad disowning me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
