And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
