I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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