He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
