Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
