I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
