At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
