Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
