The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
