Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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