Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
