4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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