States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
