Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
