Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
