I love black thongs
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
