Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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