she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
