Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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