He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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