Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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